Everybody made experiences with wishes, going back to their childhood. We all know what it feels like, when wishes do not come true. How we cried, when we didn’t get the present that we had wished for, for Christmas or our birthday.

 

It’s even worse when we wish for another person to be with us, and they don’t turn up. Like a child who longs to see his Mom and Dad , and they don’t come. It may lose faith in loyalty of people close to it for the rest of its life. How hurt we are as adults, when we long for someone special to be with us, to share our joy, anger, enthusiasm or sadness, and they’re just not there for us.

 

These examples show just how much strength and energy we can put into wishes. To what kind of extent do I have power over my wishes, or do they rule me and make me do things that I normally wouldn’t even think of doing ?.

 

Whilst other species have a genetic compulsion to breed for the preservation of their kind, we humans have the freedom of choice, of wanting or not wanting children. If a couple decides to have a child, they will inevitably put all their power and energy into their plan, especially when obstacles arise. 

 

We can read about the effects that these wishes can have on couples, especially in books based on personal experiences, as well as in scientific studies. Meanwhile there have been many reports written over the psychological aspects as well. Many talk about “great emotional strain” or “roller coaster feelings”. It is a real burden for most couples to experience the onset of a new menstruation, when the treatment is unsuccessful, and to go through the waiting time after the transfer of the fertilized egg (Embryo transfer). Even when the IVF treatment is carried out under the most favourable conditions, there is usually some kind of pressure.

 

It’s no wonder, that the latest Heidelberg University studies showed, that at least half of the female doctors recommended psychological support for the couples who wish to have a child. Why is it then, that only one third of the couples want psychological support ?

 

The main reasons are:

 

a) the fear of being put down as “not normal” or “weird”.

b) the fear that, the emotional strain might increase with psychological support.

 

Many couples associate psychological therapy with high costs. Therefore the psychologist himself must inform them about benefits and costs. The couples can then be encouraged with the help of the psychologist, to direct their wishes and emotions on to a positive path.

 

How many couples know that hypnotherapy exercises can open new paths of power and energy, when they really long for a child? The whole situation can be experienced much more calmly and without stress, when it’s seen in a more “playful” way instead of something difficult. Psychological consultations usually only take about 3-5 hours altogether.

 

We’ve known for some time that various relaxation exercises can reduce the stress for many couples, especially for the woman. Latest studies confirmed this. After doing  hypnotherapy exercises, the pregnancy rate increased to over 50% !.

 
Therefore, there is a very clear message to the couples who really wish for a child to accept psychologist's assistance in order to have the best chance of a positive outcome.

Mag. Karlheinz Brandt
Institute for Reproductive Medicine
A-6900 Bregenz